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The Autoblow 2 is the most advanced form of wanking mankind has to offer. Are you taking a few minutes out of your workday to "go to the bathroom" and bringing a Fleshlight. Now, this isn't to say a Fleshlight is an unpleasant experience. Anthropologists say you can measure the progress of a civilization by its superhero movies.

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Masturbating with your hand affords you that flesh-to-flesh connection. Gritty Woman At which point, your only hope is to become turned on by tapeworms. The Autoblow 2 is the most advanced form of wanking mankind has to offer. Also follow us on Facebook , because our page makes a great "just got walked in on while watching porn" cut-to. Continue Reading Below. Maybe one day, our monkey ancestor was sitting in his tree, lounging under a palm frond, enjoying some delicious papaya, when some of it slipped and landed on his little monkey dinky. It's as simple as that.

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The porcine groin bouquet is a bit sweet and a bit musky -- kind of like what you might expect from a corpse, or a Kardashian when no cameras are around. But did it improve it. The major downside to the Fleshlight is that it's a lot like manual labor. You never need to plan to bring it anywhere, and you never need to hide it or prepare it or sanitize it and put it away when you're done. Our ancestors used to put a stick covered in termites in their proto-dicks to get off. Now, this isn't to say a Fleshlight is an unpleasant experience. Back in the day, you wouldn't dare touch your precious genitals with your sinister devil's paw.

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Description: Fact is, your hand belongs on your arm, so no one is ever suspicious when you have it. You can read a damn book while this thing grinds your organ. Do the olden ways stand up to today's modern superjackoffery. And you know after the preliminary trials, the whole project is going to be set back when one goes haywire and yanks some volunteer's dick off with such force that it gets javelined across a room and embedded in a brick wall. That aside, the inside of a Fleshlight is soft, squishy, and textured with various nubs, swirls, and ridges. Sure, the Autoblow is an impressive sensation, but can you do that on an elevator with a hole cut in the pocket of your dress pants without anyone else noticing. It's efficient, and at the end of the day, it does the job perfectly. It's what you've been doing your whole life.
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